Life Lesson #74

Sending someone non-fiction erotica written about someone else...asshole move.

Life Lesson #65

Your life should have a theme song, or preferably several that you can whip out as the situation determines.

Examples include: Rhinestone Cowboy, Razzle Dazzle, and Maneater.

Life Lesson #131

Don't ignore the little things.  I mean this in terms of both good things and bad things.

Life Lesson #104

The best (and maybe only) cure for a heartbreak is time and distraction.  Given enough of both, you can get over anything.

Life Lesson #78

Here's a simple life equation:  If you're unhappier with someone than you are alone, be alone.  It kind of sucks for the moment, but in the long run you'll be better off (and happier) and a better judge of who you choose to spend your time and energy on.

Life Lesson #58

You never know where you might meet the most amazing, fun people.

P.S. - To the German couple I met on the wine tour in Stellenbosch - my sober self can't read my drunk self's writing of your email :)

Life Lesson #113

You don't want to be with someone if you have to convince them that they want to be with you.

Life Lesson #49

Always do your hair before bed incase of a midnight fire alarm/other natural disaster where you have to see your neighbors.

Life Lesson #136

If you're going to get strip searched, there's no point in getting dressed.

Life Lesson #130

If you're pretending to know what you're doing, be careful what you say.

Life Lesson # 90

First world problems will follow you no matter where you go.  Some examples of First World Problems:

1.  I have to pee, but I don't want to get up.
2.  I should study, but I took a nap instead.
3.  There are too many people at the store.
4.  Deciding between a QT diet coke and a nap.
5.  Traveling alone and having to haul your carry-ons with you to the bathroom..
6.  Spraying too much air freshener, can't breathe.
7.  Changing the cast on season 2 of your favorite trashy reality show.
8.  No cheese on McDonald's burgers in Israel.
9.  Flying economy and sitting next to a guy with really hairy arms.
10.  Want to leave work early, but its a dirt road walk home and I wore my only good shoes today.
11.  There's no bottle opener in the minibar.

Life Lesson # 77

                                                     All's well that ends at a beach resort.

Life Lesson # 133

Being awesome can be a curse.  Being magnetic can be exhausting.

Life Lesson #96

Always take the opportunity to skinny dip when it arises.  You'll save your phone from a fast, watery death.

Life Lesson # 103

Always travel with a sewing kit and a cami.  Because you just never know.

Life Lesson # 94

If you're going to do something wrong, do it big because you're going to be punished either way. (Thanks for the Life Lesson, LT!)

Life Lesson # 57

Sometimes Life Lessons smack you in the face.

Life Lesson #46

If you have to ask the question, you already know the answer.  *Hint* This generally applies to relationships, not math.